Let's Get to Know Me

This is the life of a college student. A college student attending one of the top 50 liberal art schools in America. Also a liberal arts school that, despite its standing, probably less than 5% of the population has ever heard of, although you mention the name Gettysburg, and anyone not from this area who hasn’t been beaten over the head with the only significant history our poor young country has will fawn all over the location.

Okay, make that less than 1% of the population.

I’m a professional horseback rider. Or at least, I was before my dad cut the finances and I decided to focus on that whole “school thing.” I guess I’m not really now since I’m not technically a trainer yet and my riding still has a long way to go, but it still impresses people when I tell them that. My favorite thing is to tell people who know nothing about horses that I made it all the way up to the Grand Prix level in a voice that can hardly contain my pride and hubris. Of course, they, being polite and not wanting to hurt my sensitive feelings or risk sounding unknowledgeable, gasp in awe about my success and attempt to look interested before tentatively asking what that means, exactly. Is it the riding with or without the horn? You mean like the car racing Grand Prix?

…

Uhh, well, you see... no. Not quite.

Yes, these are the ways I entertain myself and keep my life bearable. I certainly don't have any friends to entertain myself with. I do have a girlfriend I'm practically married to, but I might not call that entertaining. Work and insanity and lots and lots of drama are more accurately associated with the word "girlfriend." All that, and of course, twice as much love as drama.

Wait, did I just say girlfriend?! Yes, I did. Just keeps getting more interesting, doesn’t it? A lesbian attending an expensive liberal arts school no one’s ever heard of, kicked out of her house at age 18 for the friction between her and her mother, a professional horseback rider whose career got shut down with a wave of her father’s magisterial hand… Sounds pretty interesting, right? It might even make a nice story. Maybe I should be writing a novel right now instead of this silly little blog, but then that might actually be useful and contribute to my career. It would, in fact, contribute to my career, since my unrealistic dreams include becoming an author and a successful horse trainer/rider. But no, I could never do that. Instead, I must waste my time writing something that very few people will care to read when I could and perhaps should be working on an 8 page paper that will contribute to the success of my more realistic goal of becoming a psychologist. A paper due in two days that I have yet to start on.

You’re probably torn between feeling bad for me and rolling your eyes at my idiocy and laziness, if the fact that me having a girlfriend hasn’t already offended you to the point of finding your entertainment elsewhere (this is especially true in those of you who are not my age, which is to say nicely, those of you who are significantly older). You’re probably debating whether or not you should stop reading this and spend your time on something more beneficial to you instead of wasting it on the wasting of my time. Yes, I can see you, with your cursor hovering over the back button or the address bar, or whatever it is you’re about to press that will take you away from my sad little college student sob story that’s not worth your time. If you decide to stay, well congratulations, you must have more time to waste than I do, because I would have clicked that little back arrow by the first sentence. Where is that extra time and how do I get some?

Well, that’s it for now. I actually wrote an email to my professor concerning the paper. How absolutely diligent of me. The work must continue. You will hear more about my pathetic little existence in the posts to come.

Enjoy the ride. Literally.